2 Life Lessons I Learned From Walking The Camino De Santiago With My Dad.

In 2014, I walked 800km with my dad in Spain.

When I ask my dad to join me, his first reaction was: “What are you thinking? I can’t just take 6 -8 weeks off. What about your mom?”. “Just think about it”, I responded.

Two weeks later he had it all figured out with himself, my mom and his work. “I am coming with yah!”

This was huge for him.

My dad worked since he was 16 and had never a work break longer than 3 weeks. It would also be the first time away from my mom for longer than a week, since their marriage in 1984.

And now he was coming with me.

I can fill a book with ‘Camino’ stories and lessons, but these 2 with my dad impacted me the most.

Taking the time to listen and understand someones perspective is a relationship changer.

I got to see my dad from a totally different perspective.

In those 6 week we talked a lot and shared openly. By hearing him share about himself, his upbringing and challenges he had faced, I understood where his life choices came from. I realised how I had been judging him, where he simple did the best he could. Or simply because I didn't know and filled in the blancs bases on my own assumptions.

I never took the time to ask and listen to him, but I am so glad I did.

Letting go of relationship roles allows for real connection.

On day 1 of walking in Spain, my dad said to me: “I want to be your friend in the coming weeks, not your dad”.

By the end of our journey, I realised how much of an impact it had on me. This simple sentence had allowed for equal, open, deep and vulnerable conversations I would have with a friend, not my dad. It made me realise that relationships are often defined and limited by the roles and lenses we see each other through. By taking our father-daughter roles off, our relationship felt fresh, relaxed, playful and totally new.

Just two human beings connecting from heart to heart with each other.